So Much To Be Grateful For

Well, August is here, it's hot, and though I really really don't like the heat, I am SO very grateful to be able to experience it, and so much more. It's been just over six weeks since my brain surgery and I realize that in the last two weeks I have felt much better! I have not taken so much as a Tylenol in several days, and that is pretty good progress I think:). I have even been able to resume watching my 19 month old grand daughter, Cecily; which is glorious! I can only do that once a week or so, and need to be careful, as I am still not supposed to bend over, or to pick up anything fairly heavy. The biggest thing right now for me is fatigue (!!!)....especially be the late afternoon. Of course I have all kinds of weird sensations related to the surgery and the incision site (about five inches long behind my ear), and still have a sort of constant under water feeling on that side of my head, but it could be SOOOO much worse! I am VERY thankful, and realize how incredibly blessed I am. I have read some horror stories about people with a tumor in that particular location. I have no facial paralysis, no significant hearing loss, no neuralgia, no feeding tube or trach, I can read (!!), and I can walk just fine (some may argue that though)! Thank God.

A couple of weeks ago I did have the scary headache, which resulted in a trip to Cedars for a stat MRI. We saw Dr. Black and he said that my brain looked good, and that the blood clot had gotten a little bit smaller. We talked about the next surgery and he wants to schedule it in November instead of September, in order to give the clot some more time to dissipate. So the next MRI will be the brain mapping one, the night before the surgery! Ugh.....so not looking forward to that...however, everyone anticipates the next surgery to be more straightforward (less precarious in many wasy) and a shorter hospital stay than the first one. I hope so.

I am truly in awe of how things worked out throughout this whole ordeal. Thankfully the insurance thing worked out perfectly thanks to Dr. Black and his office staff, Dr. Tim Schmidt, the two wonderful RN case managers for Cigna and St Jude Heritage Medical Group, and the wonderful people at Mission Hospital, including my wonderful nurse manager, Kathy Whitehouse. Also thank you to my son-in-law, Matt Smith and also to Kevin Allen for helping me with a letter to the medical group (HMO). I am not sure exactly how it all resolved, but it did.......and as the medical bills keep pouring in, I am grateful we did not have to sell our home to make a dent in them!!!

I am also incredibly grateful to all of you dear loved ones who were in the waiting room during the surgery, praying and keeping my poor family company (it was very comforting to them); Father Wayne and Lynn, Kevin and Colleen, Joey and Kathy (flew in from Utah to be with us....for several days!!), Jeff and Deedee, Shea, my children of course, Luann, Cindy R., Margaret, Scott Nassau, and the many many friends, coworkers, and godfamily praying in other locations (one dear friend, who is ill himself, took the day off work to pray for me). I have NO DOUBT that this good outcome was as a result of your prayers in so many ways. Thank you also to all of you who came to see me in the hospital and here at home, for the DELICIOUS meals that have been so thoughtfully and lovingly prepared, for the beautiful flowers, and many many cards and sweet, encouraging notes (Mission nurses!!!). All of these things have served to bless and encourage us, and Mitch and I have been strengthened by your love and concern. Words cannot express our gratitude.

The reality of what I have experienced and am experiencing is only now beginning to hit me. So happy and grateful to be alive, to hug and kiss my husband and children, so cuddle with and read to my grand daughters, to see, talk with, and hug the friends and god-family I love so much, to read, to be able to think about going back to work and making a difference, to appreciate my garden, my sweet dogs, the ocean, and walking through my lovely neighborhood (chickens and all).

"For me there are few things more beautiful in the universe than the human brain. Unlike any other organ in the body, our brain is the essence of what makes us human, our memories, our thoughts, our our personalities- one hundred billion nerve cells, working in absolute harmony to allow us to see, to smell, to move, to understand, and to create. We have only begun to understand the marvel of this three pound mass of grey and white matter. I have focused my entire professional career on learning about the brain. As a young medical student I aspired to solve the riddle of human consciousness, to demystify the interface between the mind and the brain. Now as a brain surgeon, my life's work is to operate within this sacred territory, within this most complicated and delicate structure in the universe." Dr. Keith Black (my truly wonderful and gifted surgeon)

The next entry will be about him.